the other day, i was plucking my chin hairs in the mirror.
a long-practiced “tradition” with your grandmother and now myself.
i finally found comfort in plucking in middle school, with nothing to pluck but my poor, innocent eyebrows. luckily, thin eyebrows were the style in those early 2000’s.
as a young child, i remember always going into the bathroom while she had her tweezers in hand…ready to hang out, talk, play catch-up…just talk mostly. many of the times i wanted to, but many times when i was irritated with her or “had an attitude”, as she would say, i would feel drawn to approach and take my seat on the toilet or sometimes the floor…a few times i would just begin to spill words and sentences; other times i would just sit quietly. as i got older, those quiet starts were me trying to decide what and how i wanted to share my frustrations with her.
those times were budding growth between us as we learned how to calmly and carefully address conflict. as i was growing into a young adult lady, we bumped heads on newer and more difficult scenarios. we also began to gossip here and there…an earned level up and nod to my maturity as gossip wasn’t a thing in our household growing up, and that rings true to this day for me. it’s a delicacy meant to indulge on cheat days, and you share that with those closest to you…not the world.
while the plucking of the hairs would only last about 15 to 20 minutes, some nights when that's too soon to leave the bathroom, we would last hours into the late hours of the evening. the clock would strike 12 am and end with a hug and an “i love you”.
i can now recognize that those were moments of stillness. those were moments of therapy. connection and honesty. precision and accountability. moments of love and welcoming…i don’t think your grandmother ever turned me away.
no matter the new apartment or house, the new country, the new city and state, your grandmother - plucking her eyebrows, her chin hairs, neck hairs, and gray hairs in the bathroom would always cultivate home…as that’s where the tweezers are…not just the heart.
i wonder where our home will be.
i wonder what traditions we’ll start.
i wonder why we’ll choose the place we choose.
i wonder how it’ll impact you, my sweet baby, as i was.
whatever the wonder…i can’t wait to discover it.
i love you.